I came across an excerpt from the book, 'The Lucid View: Investigations In Occultism, Ufology, And Paranoid Awareness , by a fellow named Aeolus Kephas and it resonated in very personal way. Maybe it will for you too.

To the ordinary person, illuminoids, ufos, elves, angels, and other Imaginal beings have no objective existence whatsoever. The Consensus is quite clear on this. And yet everyone knows what these things “are,” at a mythological level, even if we continue to insist that they have no actual existence. According to paranoid awareness, this paradox is the crux of our current situation. It states that, over the aeons, we have invoked these Imaginal beings—whether higher or lower, demonic or divine, earthly or celestial—and that they are now here. The apotheosis of the impossible is at hand. It begins as an idea, something even less perhaps, a vague and distant notion, a feeling that is unconscious, yet present. Over time, this feeling becomes an image, an image as it were before the eyes, a light “undesired, most desirable.” As we gaze at this image it comes slowly into focus, gathering form, tone, pitch, color, and finally substance, until it appears as an actual shape before our eyes. This is the process of articulation through perception by which manifestation occurs: what was within is now without. The shape is our own, it is our potential unborn, perceived as in a glass, darkly, distant yet dazzling. It is approaching as we, in turn, advance to meet it.

According to this lore, the individual is approached by the Imaginal in the most intimate manner imaginable (abductions usually occur in bed). If she or he fails to perceive the essentially subjective nature of the visitation, s/he will quickly be demoted to the lower echelons and treated accordingly, as cattle to be herded, a nameless, faceless number to be processed along the evolutionary line. S/he will be subjected to tests and probes and analyses and other rude stimuli, have bodily fluids extracted and cell samples taken, then returned to the herd, complete with branding marks and implants. If, on the other hand, the percipient takes the necessary steps towards collaborating with the Imaginal forces—if s/he stares unflinchingly into the dark abyss of his Soul and neither flees nor falls to his knees—then s/he will have taken the first step towards knowledge. To the paranoid on the edge of personal apocalypse, “Know thyself” is no idle recommendation.

However strange, absurd, or irrational the various taxonomies of the Imaginal beings may seem, there is a definite, underlying order or meaning to be found in them. Whether taken literally as supernatural or extraterrestrial intervention, or mythologically as an enactment of the unconscious, it falls to us to discover the precise design behind the phenomenon, and so map the unknown terrain of the Soul.

If these Imaginal entities are without volition or autonomy as we understand it, following cosmic principles by which energy manifests as matter, then their behavior, far from being erratic and unfathomable, may be quite systematic. That these beings were following specific natural laws unknown to us would be what makes their behavior so baffling and elusive—they are following Imaginal laws, laws of the unconscious. It may even be that both the appearance and actions of the beings is designed expressly in order to introduce us to (and initiate us into) these Imaginal laws that are so alien to us. And the varying levels or “gradations” of beings encountered may represent aspects (or even angles, i.e., perspectives) of the same essential life-force: namely, the human Soul. Initiation into this Imaginal realm is perceived by the paranoid as, verily, a descent into Hades. It is a tearing of the veil by which we may get to witness the truth of ourselves at last—and cry, “Whoa!”

Whoa!

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