Does anybody else feel numb? I never seem to feel any emotion except frustration. I assume i love my family but if you asked me why and to describe what that feels like I couldn't tell you? I feel lost and like im just waiting for a spiritual awakening or something. am I alone or am I one in many? Its just so god damn dispiriting...i need a purpose

Maybe a chemical imbalance? Sometimes meditation helps to reconnect to the emotional center in the brain.

Mandel -

In all seriousness, you may be dealing with depression, anxiety or some other form of illness. I am not attacking you, I actually rather like your comments on this forum, but looking at the overall theme of your posts and taking them as a collective work, you seem to be have a common theme of negativity/depression/paranoia. Maybe you should see a doctor. Understand, I am merely making an observation. Some people's writing style make them sound negative, etc. so I apologize if that is the case. I am just trying to help my friend.

you may be right. i would like to note that I've always wanted to do adventurous things. for a long time I wanted to be a special forces solider. now I don't really trust the military as you can probably tell by my posts. As i said right now I guess im trying to find a purpose. I also like stuff like marijuana and sex because of the feeling it gives. Don't think I'm i crazy or something because if you met me in person you would think me a normal kid but i am not who i really am when in person if that makes sense, i talk and do what makes me cool. I would never take depression medicine or see a doctor because from my view there is nothing wrong with me but something right with me...purpose the greatest gift one can have.

meditation is always good. i doubt that you would be able to find anything medically wrong with me though.

hey man.. its called ANGST. enjoy it while it lasts. use it as a tool because it will give you an incredible amount of energy. focus that angst into something that you do enjoy... lyric writing... perhaps that is your purpose. least ways, you can make it so. if you have any artistic ability whatsoever... throw everything you have into it.

most folks your age are easily depressed, or moody, feel lost... pissed at the world. shit man i remember what it was like. at a point in my life when i had nothing, i would walk everywhere because i had no vehicle. man, how it puts a perspective on things. not having enough money for something to eat besides a ghetto burger or ramen noodles will put your mind in a special place.

i walked along the streets and noticed the fine houses as i passed them, and noticed the nice cars as they passed me. it would eat me up inside wondering when is it gonna be my turn?

no one gets a turn here. you have to make room for yourself.

this peroid of your life is also a time when your biochemistry changes and fluctuates wildly. its cool. just don't get all columbine on us & you're good.

thinking that you are sick will make you sick.

it is natural to question your spiritual standing. it may be time for you to figure out what that is exactly or begin the search, if you don't know already.

you love your family. if you didn't then you wouldn't bother wondering. if you live with them, you're probably just tired of looking at their faces every morning. if absence makes the heart grow fond then familiarity breeds contempt. one day you will miss them.

if you need a physical / intellectual / spiritual challenge or guidance... might i suggest you take a serious look into the realm of martial arts?

EVERYONE wants adventure but it doesn't come knocking on your door - you have to go out and get it - and no one here will be able to tell you what to do - you have to decide, then once your mind is made up, you go for it with everything you've got.

I don't want to sound like I'm preaching but I'm a 47 year old hasbeen with a messed up head, crippled spine, ten kids and three wives who spent his days lying in bed waiting for the day 'things would happen' in dark and dreary Scotland - well in the last year I've jaunted through no less than about ten countries, performed live at some of Scotlands best live music stages, I'm in one of the most desirable parts of Australia right now putting a new band together to crash once more onto the music scene over here, finishing off two books I'm writing - life has never been more exciting - but only because I got out of bed and said 'Ben DO IT!'

Seriously I have travelled the world in the last year and did so armed with nothing but a guitar and it has been wonderful!!! Like they say in the Nike ad's - JUST DO IT! You might smell a bit wearing the same clothes every day but hey can't have everything

Ben

thanks abadaka and ben. Right now the thing I like doing the most is playing basketball so i guess I'll put my effort into that because i believe that if i actually work hard (im a lazy ass) i have a chance to play college ball and I've only been playing for a year. Spiritually I'm pretty fucked i mean i feel like the eastern religions are more suited for me but in every religion there is always something wrong about it and that were i think the powers that be manipulation comes in. One factor may be also that im into some shit most people never hear about in life (conspiracies and such) and I'm only 16 and the kind stuff you hear can wear you down. But you are both right in the fact that i can't just sit around. By the way abadaka i hope you were joking about that columbine thing because like i said in most aspects im pretty much a normal kid and im actually popular at my school. Fucked up shit like that has never even once entered my realm of thought. MOTIVATION is my biggest problem. I will consider martial arts i have always wanted to do it.

Don't forget the sex.....sex is good Very motiviational....

Ben

Can I ask..how old are you?

amen to that reverend.

16

oh yeah man the columbine thing was a sick joke.

Well.. I would post something..but it would come out sounding condescending and I dont want it to.. let me leave it at this:

Youre not alone. Although movies always portray your age as the best, those people have selective memories.. With an increased awareness and social intelligence now, plus a maturing sense of everything.. what you are feeling is normal. You SHOULD feel this way. A lot of the people around you everyday feel the same but many will hide it. The fact that you are willing to talk about it bodes well for you I think.

Good luck.

Thanks. I guess what gets me is how oblivious most people esp kids my age are. They're just so engrossed in material shit and so its hard to have a conversation of enlightenment with them, they will just laugh. With kids my age the only way to maintain a social life is to be brain dead and so thats what i do. When i want to address stuff that nags at my mind and soul i have to come talk to you guys.

Have you ever considered maybe volunteering?

Maybe at the local animal shelter, community food bank, Salvation Army, maybe a Hospice?

Sometimes doing something nice for other people or community can help you feel good inside.

Just a thought!

Good luck to you and I hope that you find some sort of joy in your life!!!!

I guess from my point of view, I was looking at the fact that you feel numb and never seem to feel any emotion. Most kids your age are running through all kinds of emotions. Maybe you just feel like you aren't experiencing any emotions. Nevertheless, I agree with Ben and others, at your age you should be out experiencing life and all that it has to hold for you....

I've pretty much done all i can with thr current level of freedom that i have. I've had sex, smoked weed, play sports for my school, learned about conspiracies, I use to go to church, nature stuff, played instruments, traveled abroad, and now im applying for a job. I'm doing all this but the way I see it, its like for what? I guess im still kind of like a kid who wishes he could be some kind of hero or something.

"Comfortably Numb"

Hello,
Is there anybody in there
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone at home
Come on now
I hear you're feeling down
I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again
Relax
I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts

There is no pain, you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably numb

O.K.
Just a little pin prick
There'll be no more aaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying

When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown
The dream is gone
And I have become
Comfortably numb

Mande, although it’s been a long time since I’ve seen ‘16’ , if my memory serves me; I too felt quite numb in regards to the World around me. So much so I took to trying anything that I thought would ‘stimulate’ me! Lol (Well, most anything! I never tried to kill myself or the like).

What you are going through sounds quite familiar to me and your willingness to try on ‘different hats’ indicates to me you are on the right track!

Depression and frustration were my biggest foes. Fortunately, desire, adventure and a ‘Lust for Life’ overwhelmed my negative (numbed) feelings. I’m convinced part of the numbness had something to do with my hormones popping at that age too. Keep on Truckin’...!!! I want to see what you become when you get through this!

Thanks Aba… Now I desire to watch The Wall…agin!…lol That movie always dredges up deeeep emotions. There goes my day!…lol ~rore