I need some advice...

I've been sick with a stomach flu since Saturday. I'm recouping now but am still not feeling too well. In addition, the weather here has been just miserable. Needless to say, my daughter and I haven't been able to get out and do much together. Our quality time has mainly revolved around playing board games and going to the occasional movie. My kid is like me. She gets bored and restless way too easy. So, I decided to treat us both today. I sent my daughter off to school and as surprise to her, I went out to the interstate exit and rented a hotel room for the night. It has a heated indoor pool and spa. I've stocked our room with a dvd player, a new movie she's been wanting me to buy, munchies for her (I'm still on a bland diet...yuck...but I couldn't eat any junk food right now if I wanted to...I have to take prescription pills just to eat bland food) and our bathing suits. I plan on picking her up from school, stopping by the park to feed the ducks, then taking her to eat her favorite meal (a waffle at the Waffle House lol) and then go to our hotel. I figure we'll swim until 7pm and then we'll go get her a happy meal from McDonald's, take it back to the room and watch movies. No doubt she'll be late for school tomorrow but, I guess, sometimes that's ok...education isn't the only important thing in childhood...quality time with your parent(s) is equally important. Anyway, that brings me to what I need advice on...

I'm starting a local group called 'Young Adventurers' for 7 to 9 year old girls. I've noticed that girls in this age group are really beginning to feel pressured to 'grow up' and be 'sexy'. Just look at the toys geared toward their age...its all about fashion, make-up, boys and popularity. I've noticed, with quite a bit of sadness, that its destroying their innocence and sense of wonder at life. I figure that I can't change the way of things but I can give my daughter and other girls her age a more balanced outlook on themselves and life in general. So, I'm starting this group. The idea is to have adventures in the 'great outdoors' and to learn about the world around them at the same time. The emphasize is on having fun, being adventurous, being brave and science. I hoping to include, as fundamental to the group's activities, introducing career choices which girls may not really have much of an opportunity to consider. For instance, one activity is a trip to Dinosaur World. Its a themed nature park with life sized replicas along the nature hikes and pinic areas. Plus, there are areas where you can dig for fossils and then there is a movie theater inside of a cave replica where they show a 20 minute education film on dinosaurs. The girls will be able to learn about becoming paleontologists.Now, you know, dinosaurs are typically a fascination of boys their age and dinosaur toys are geared toward boys. The Louisville Zoo and Mammoth Caves are also nearby so we may just make it a 3-day trip and cover zoo-keeping and geology as well. So, you get the idea of what I'm trying to do.

Last, but also part of the group's objectives, is involving parents with their young girls in 'adventurous activities' for quality time. Which brings me to my question...

I originally thought that this would be great for just mothers and daughters...that by excluding the father (the male figure)..the idea of 'you can be a girl and still be adventurous and grow up to anything you can dream of' would have greater impact. But, then I thought...what about the girls that I'm excluding because they don't have a mother? So, what to do? How should I do this?

Btw depending on the group's success...I may expand into having chapters in other cities and groups for 10 through 12 year olds, 13 & 14 year olds...and, may, in the future, affiliate with Americorp's summer programs for older teens (if you live in the US and have an older teen...they have some awesome summer programs for this age group...Americorp is considered our 'domestic peace corp' and its a terrific bridge between high school and college)

Anyway..what do you think I should do about the 'mom-dad' issue?

This post has been edited by iwant2believe2: Mar 12 2008, 08:39 AM

That sure is a tough call, and i'm not really able to help, because if you come accross a girl with out a mum, then the father is the logical choice, but if they have a step mother, maybe it could be a bond to bring them together, or how about there aunt, grandmother,(if not to old)

Told you i'm not much help TuTu

Tutu posts: Anyway..what do you think I should do about the 'mom-dad' issue?
=======================
That‘s really a ‘non-issue‘ imho tutu.
Do what‘s good for the children and what you are planning to do is just great.
No need to emphasize the ‘Mom/Dad‘ issue here.
Take the girls out and show them what they can be as individuals… ~rore

Why not just make it so 1 parent is with the child, just one of them, Dad or Mom. I was raised by my Mom, but my best friend was raised by his dad. Sometimes kids don't get 2 parents, and I think not emphasizing which geneder the parent is, is probably the best way to go.

Bless you, Tutu! What a wonderful idea! I love it.

As for the parent thing: I also think that the parent can be a mom or a dad. For example, my kids are in boy scouts, but it's usually my wife who takes them. Next month, they're going camping, and most of them are coming with Mom, but some are coming with Dad. I don't think it's a problem.

If all you're doing are day-trips, I see no reason not to include Dads. Even if you're camping, it shouldn't be a problem. If you include Dads, just set a rule that parents shouldn't do things FOR the kids. For example, in boy scouts, parents are discouraged from watching their own children, but instead are encouraged to watch OTHER people's kids. Don't know how that would go in the states, though.

If you don't want to include people of the icky male gender, just say so. However, you might make a rule that if their Mom can't or won't go, they can bring another female adult as long as Mom says OK.

What a great idea 22, i only have sons as you know but the only things that come to mind for me is it could get tricky with 12 little girls 11 mums (moms ) and 1 dad if you take them swimming or camping. It might make some uncomfortable with the male presense. I guess you might just have to look at the numbers and see how the ratio pans out. If you get a few dads, perhaps dads can have one big tent, Mums another. Other than that I couldn't see it being too much of a problem.

I'd make a point of telling people it's designed for mother daughter pairs, but dads are welcome, too. One parent per child, though.

Doesnt matter you goes with them, as long as the GO. Dads make great moms also . Its a sign of the times, not all girls have a mom or a dad, so I think its a small thing about who goes with them. What you're doing is awesome TUTU.

I have to agree . When I was growing up , my father worked offshore and was gone alot . So , basically , MOM had to be MOM & DAD . As long as children know they are loved and cared for by parents and that parents are involved in their lives , that is NUMBER 1 .

Cricket, I just want to say I love that line:
Dads make great moms also.

In my case, raised mostly by my Mom, it was the other way around:
Moms make great Dads also.

I want to thank everyone for their advice. It was great! I've decided not to make it an issue at all. The important thing is to encourage the girls to 'think outside of the box' and fathers can support them in that just as well as mothers. In fact, a father doing just that is important. So, many thanks to everyone for clearing my head on this one!

"Dinosaur World" Haha, My kids and I just watched Clifford a few weeks back (The one with martin short..not the cartoon dog)

I didn't know the place really exists. It's not in California is it?


Sorry about the flu.