A couple of years ago, my nephew was killed in a car wreck just a few days shy of his 16th birthday. Naturally, it devastated my family and my sister really hasn't been the same since. My nephew and his little sister were only a couple of years apart and were very close. They had many of the same friends. After Tyler's death, my sister felt less alone by allowing many of Ty's friends to hang around the house. Somehow, she dealt with the loss better by having a house full of teenagers. Turns out that one of the teenage boys and my neice started dating. Now, she is only 14 and just found out that she's pregnant. Of course, she's keeping the baby. My sister blames herself but, in a way, is excited to have a new child in the family after Tyler's death. She is due on the day of Tyler's death. We don't know what to think but no judgment is being passed on anybody.

That's an amazing story. I believe everything happens for a reason. Honestly she should keep the child. I know she is young but she made a choice to have sex and not use adequit protection. I'm not saying I don't believe in abortion, I do believe in choice. But the reason I am saying she should keep it for sure is because of the miracle that this child is and the joy it will bring to everyone's life. Heck this may even be the reincarnation of your nefew. wow!

I should add that its angered me to hear some people criticize the situation...no one can really understand the loss that spurred it on unless they've walked in those shoes.

Thanks...that's exactly how we feel, I think...and she definitely wants to keep it.

Yay! It's a miracle baby, I just know it is. I think what people call "accidents" aren't really accidents at all, it's the universe's way of giving us the tools for a better life. You never know, this may very well change her in a good way. I can only guess that she has lot of family to support her and help her if she needs help, that is definately going to be needed especially among the first couple of years. Bless you and your family sweetie.

SL

Its going to be hard for her...being so young...but she definitely has the love and support of her family..and that can make all the difference in the world. She made a mistake but there's no shame in it. She's loved and the child will be loved. My sister got married when she turned 14 and has been with the same man every since then. It turned out to be a blessing because both of them were heading down the wrong paths..they both sort of gave each other the stability that they needed. This child may turn out to be a blessing in disquise as well. It may fill an emptiness that has been in their hearts since Tyler's death. Not a replacement...just a new direction for a love that they all miss giving...hope that makes sense..

Awkward age 14, don't think your sister can blame herself after what you have all been through, Has the boy stuck around Toots and how old is he...??

I hate to push your buttons but that pretty much proves that God is real.

This thread is too sensitive for me to respond how Id like..but that doesnt come anywhere near the ball park of proving anything.

Tutu..good luck to everyone involved.

Ehud’s eyes met mines, and my eyes met his. And I got pregnant. We had a little girl. Blue skies.
That night we were back from visiting family. We have had a wonderful time, it was late, and we decided to drive back home. My sister was at the wheel. Ehud (my soon-to-be husband) was at the passenger seat. I was in the backseat together with my soon-to-be sister-in-law. My baby girl was between us, in a baby’s car-seat.
Then my sister stopped at a traffic light. We were talking, as we waited for the light to pass from red to green. When the light went green, she put the car in first gear and slowly sped up. At this very moment our car was forcefully slammed by another vehicle coming from the left. Its driver wasn’t patient enough to wait until the traffic light turned green.
The shock was terrible, I lost consciousness almost instantaneously.
The next thing I remember was when I woke up 9 days after at the hospital.
Only to be told that… I was the sole survivor.
Even now, I still have bad dreams of that night. And still have troubles just talking about it.
Even now, I still can’t look at stars without thinking of the short time we spent together – Ehud, my baby girl, and myself. Just being happy, just being here, and just being ourselves.
I’ve found back my peace of mind. I have a new life now, a new husband, and three kids.
I have lost four loved ones, and have three kids and a wonderful husband now – is it coincidental? I don’t know.
What I know is that love’s eternal, and stronger than death.

Why am I telling this to you, 22?
Yes, everything happens for a reason. I believe that too.
And… your sister has found back her peace of mind, almost in the same way as I found mine back - with a new love.
Good luck to you and yours, 22

How is it possible to post something meaningful after that. It makes all this stuff look petty doesn't it.
Thank you both for reminding me how lucky I really am.
Peace to you both

Ehud and my baby girl have never left my heart. And I think they never will.
When I was told that I was the only one alive, it was as if the Nothingness opened itself.
It took me three months to just stand up again on my feet. Six months more to walk.
Took me even longer to accept the death of my loved ones.
Life had lost its meaning. But signs did come.
So many signs, that now I know death is not the end.
Sounds silly for a scientific to say this, isn’t it?
But then, there comes a time in life when you’ve got to find some things - any thing - to cling to.
Some things like… Death is not the end… or … Our loved ones live on within our heart for ever.
Silly things, aren’t they?
Just wanted to share this. Sorry for the annoyance.

22 - Your thread has turned out to be TOO emotional for me. I need a break. So sorry

How does one respond to such a loss? I don't know. I didn't know what to say to my sister when Ty died. It was all so surreal...like a bad dream where you can't speak or move and can't wake up. I understand the pain of losing a child...remotely so...but close enough to be humbled by it...close enough that just reading your post brought tears to my eyes, allison. Some feelings are too strong for words to express. So, I'll leave it at that because no words can do it justice.

Yes, I believe that some part of us goes on...call it spirit...call it soul...or whatever...continuence is the way of nature..oblivion can never truly be. I find comfort in that. Tyler has gone on to whatever existence lies beyond this one but he left his sister and mother a legacy of love and that...in some crazy fashion..has brought a new life in this existence. Amazing.

This post has been edited by iwant2believe2: Jun 25 2008, 05:30 AM

Wow, allison, I didn't know your accident was....so bad
I really don't know if I could have recovered as you did.
Deep inside you, you knew before the accident that death is not the end and you will be with the ones that passed on when your time comes.
This knowing that death is never the end, gives us strength.

I have read & heard many times that the ones that have passed on, can view the things down here.
TUTU, Allison, I'm sure that those loved ones are looking in on occasions and smiling on you and your families.