I have put this off as long as I can because this is going to be a long post, and usually I have my mate... er, wife, and kids hovering around me. But today, my wife is out working (today is my day off), and one of my three girls is home from school (she has a bad cold (does anyone ever have a 'good cold?')), but she is upstairs, sleeping, and hopefully she will stay there until I have posted this.

Since this is about alien dreams, I will post this, but it is not me dreaming about aliens, it is me dreaming about being an alien. I have had this dream pretty consistently over a number of years. It has variations which I will not go into here, but the premise is basically the same. I will give you the details of the original dream:

It begins with me driving somewhere late at night. I don’t know exactly where I am, but I assume it is somewhere in Ontario, Canada (that’s where I live). That doesn’t really matter though, all I know is that I am driving along a dark and lonely two-lane road. There are no lights, no other vehicles, just me. And then I see a flash of light, and first I think it is maybe a shooting star or a plane or something like that. Being the curious type, I decide to see if I can find out what it was, although at that time I was thinking more along the lines of ‘I must get home. It’s 2:00 in the morning.’ Nevertheless, I turn into this dirt road, hoping that I don’t get stuck somewhere, because this road is really narrow . I kept hoping that another car wouldn’t come from the other way, and we’d be stuck in the middle of nowhere.

But I needn’t have worried, because after driving for about a mile or two, I came to this clearing and in that clearing I came upon a spaceship. Not one of those round flying saucers that you see in the movies and on YouTube and other places, but one of those cigar-shaped (?)… I guess that would be the best way to describe it… maybe. Anyway, it was lying on its side (I mean, not standing up), just lying there, and nothing was happening so I was wondering if the aliens had already disembarked and were exploring the area. I decided not to get any closer with my van, so instead I backed it up so it would be out of sight.

I got out and proceeded on foot. When I got closer something in the spacecraft opened up, and two humanoid aliens stepped out. I could hear them talking, and when I did, I noticed I could understand what they were saying. I knew they weren’t speaking English, and yet I understood their language. They said they would take a look around and be back by the time the sun would rise. One of them asked if the ship would be safe where it was, and the other one said, No human will see it. That had me puzzled, because I could see the ship as clearly as I could see the hand in front of my face.

When I was sure they were out of sight I approached the ship cautiously. When I neared it the door slid open and a voice said, Welcome, Thekherham. (In case you don’t know, that is pronounced Tee kee’ rahm). I just stood there and I think I was shaking pretty good. (Fear-shivering, my alien self would say.) It turns out that the voice belonged to the ship’s computer.

When I boarded the ship, I decided to play along with the computer. It seemed that it saw me as an alien, an alien I had thought was a figment of my imagination. If everything I had written about was what was happening here then I would have a chance to prove to the world that I really was an alien, but in order to do that I would have to watch my step carefully to make sure I wasn’t found out. I had to make sure sure that I would be gone from this ship before the two Alharhanians (because I now knew that is what they were) came back and took me with them back ‘home’.

I asked the computer not to contact the Alharhanians, telling it that I wanted to surprise them. Of course I had to explain that, but the computer agreed that I could SURPRISE them, and then we return to their world.

Now here is where it gets a little tricky in deciding what I should leave in and what I should leave out, because in the many years that have passed since the original dream, things have changed. In one version I have the computer translate the Encyclopedia Orovha (Orovha is the name of the star where I come from) with lightning speed and then transporting the 150 volumes into my van. Also, an atlas, a book about the Tereskàdians (my species), anything that would prove I was not a nutcase, but had actually been aboard a spacecraft.

But getting back to the original dream: In one of the cabins I found a bracelet, and somehow I knew that it contained hundreds of tiny needles filled with a very deadly poison. If I really was a Tereskàdian, then it would do me no harm, but if I was a human, I would die instantly (and I do mean Instantly!!). I held it in my hand, and I looked at it, and asked myself, Do I feel lucky? (All right, maybe not exactly that, but something along those lines.) I put it on my wrist, and immediately the tiny needles pierced my skin, and I was still alive… still alive!! Which meant that I was a Tereskàdian.

Somehow I also knew that by pressing the four colors in a certain order meant that I would change and become a being that was fox-like, had auburn fur, a long bushy tail, and was accompanied by a symbiote known as a ‘whistling dragon’. And I also knew my ancestry, where I lived, and everything there was to know about my species. I decided to leave right then and there, but when I walked to the door, the computer asked me where I was going. Was it suspicious (if a machine could be suspicious, that is)? I told it I was getting some fresh air, and I would wait for the Alharhanians outside. Since Tereskàdians cannot tell lies, it believed me, and let me go.

Just as I stepped from the spacecraft the two aliens showed up (a little early I might add), and when they saw me they decided that asking questions was not one of the options, and they shot at me. I ran, but in the opposite direction of the van. They chased me, and kept shooting with this thin weapon, that shot out beams of light. One of those beams hit me in the chest, and down I went.

I must have lost consciousness because when I woke up I was lying in a hospital bed. The doctor in attendance told me I had what appeared to be a ‘laser burn’ on my chest. I had no idea what had happened, but I found out that a man who lived near where the spaceship had been had found me, and called 911. My wife told me that I had been in a coma for six months.

So when I was finally released from the hospital, life seemed to go on as before. I went back to work, lived my life as if nothing had happened at all. There was nothing unusual about me; as far as I was concerned, I was a human being, living on a planet called Earth. Until something very strange started happening…

The first thing that happened was an excruciating pain in my head. It literally made me black out. So I was taken to the hospital where they did one of those scans (EEG, EKG, one of those acronyms), and the doctors found out that my brain had changed completely. Whoa! What the heck was going on?

The second thing that happened was that one day I was walking in the mall my eyes suddenly began to hurt, and when I put my hands up, I saw the blood on them. I realized that I couldn’t see, and someone screamed that I had no eyes. I was taken to the hospital and my eyes (or should I say non-eyes) were wrapped in bandages. Three days later, they unwrapped the bandages, and they stared at me, just stared at me. I looked into the mirror and saw that I had large eyes, and they were like a cat’s. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but I knew it was something strange.

The third thing that happened to me was that I was growing younger. I was getting more hair, and it was darkening, and my weight seemed to drop, although not significantly, it was noticeable.

The fourth thing that happened was rather unusual. I was walking in an area where there was some street construction going on. It was rather noisy, but all of a sudden I couldn’t hear. I called out my name, and I couldn’t hear myself. Worried, I hurried away from the site, and as soon as I did, my hearing returned.

I wondered what was happening to me. The four things that had happened so far were totally random, and they happened at totally random days and times. There seemed to be no pattern whatsoever.

The fifth thing that happened occurred late at night when I had to use the bathroom. When I stepped up to the toilet I noticed that my genitalia had changed. Yes, I still had a penis and testicles (hopefully I will not offend anyone when I write this), but it was… different. Not only had I these male parts, but I also had a sheath.

My wife and daughters wanted to know what was going on, but I didn’t know what to tell them. Apparently, when I had knocked myself out, and gone into a coma, my memories had vanished, and when I woke up, I had no memory of a spacecraft or aliens, or that I was an alien. Everything was wiped as clean as chalk off a blackboard.

I could hide my genitalia, and my eyes behind sunglasses. No one could see my changed brain, and my youthful appearance I could attribute to some Grecian Formula or whatever. No one knew about my ability to turn off my hearing when near loud noises, but the next thing that happened to me was something I could not hide:

A tail. Yes, a tail. And not a wimpy little old tail, but a long, bushy tail, like a fox’s but longer. And when I didn’t try to control it, it would go up along my back, and its black tip would hang down (the main part of the tail was auburn.) Oh, my God, my wife kept saying, and the kids just kept staring at it. Even though there was nothing wrong with me physically, my wife insisted that I see the doctor, so off we went.

The doctor examined me, or rather my tail, and decided that yes, it was definitely attached to me, and that it was not a good idea to try and remove it. Somehow it was attached to something vitally important, and if it was removed, I would die.

So the tail stayed, but it got me no closer to finding out what was happening. I tried to think, but all it did was give me headache. I wrote down the six things that changed me, and marked down the date they happened: I noticed that the changed occurred on the 20th of one month, on the 8th of the next month, on the 5th and the 11th of the following month, on the 8th of the next month, and on the 5th of the following month. All of a sudden I decided that the numbers represented letters, and when I wrote these down I realized I had the first six letters of my name: T-H-E-K-H-E- When I saw those letters everything came flooding back to me. I knew I shouldn’t say my name out loud, but in haste I did, and I changed completely. And when I did, my symbiote, my whistling dragon, Kykherhenha (Kich’ kee ree’ nah) appeared, and I knew then I could not, and would not, change back into a human.

Whoa! I hope I haven’t bored you with my story of a weird dream. Maybe another day I’ll tell you about a variation that involves the Rogers Center in Toronto, and the Toronto Blue Jays.