My father died recently. Cancer in the lungs. He lost all his hair and was very ill for a while. Before he actually died, he told his eldest son that he wished he were dead already, because he was in so much pain. He was a heavy smoker for a great portion of his life, which was a span lasting 55 years.

I realize I have lived my life from a negative aspect many times before. Life has changed me because I have lost, and that is the way it will stay. I have learned that life is all about my choices. And for those things I cannot control, I am able only to re-act the best way I know how. And though there is always trouble on the horizon, my choice will be not to worry until trouble arrives. I live for today.

If you, or someone you know has a problem with drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, please get seek help while control is still within range. Please.

My condolences. And it made you think along some great paths. And sage advise. Live it like you mean it, mate!

I am very sorry to hear that.
It sounds remakably close to my father, when he died in '98'.
He too died of cancer from his lungs. Smoked all his life and was 55 when he died.

Here too,my wife's dad died of lukemia in April this year.he was a smoker,he was 52.My thoughts go to all who have lost someone to this horrible illness.

Sorry hear that, my thoughts go out to you all....

I cant imagine losing my father right now at this junction in my life...At this time I may not know what it feels like to loose something of that significance but that day will come for me as well. An addiction is a very hard thing to break especially after years of use...unless you choose to break it with 100% of your will there is very little hope. I keep telling myself one of these days.... perhaps re-reading some old posts may help get the point across to those who are 'experimenting'

Smoking is very black and white from all points of perspective...just like the text used to communicate this information. Smoking communicates very easily to your body.

Saddened and fearful of this thread,
Austin

I agree. It's very black when it tars your lungs on the inside, and very white, after you shave your head from taking chemo.

If you are a regular smoker, you are inviting the most painful death imaginable. Serves you right, for putting your family through the heartache of having to watch you, kill yourself slowly, without care. Selfish.

This post has been edited by DisproveU: Nov 8 2008, 09:07 PM

Yup, lung cancer can be painful way to die... I've seen it... but then, there are many other forms of cancer which are just as painful... I just watched someone (non smoker) close to me die of bowel cancer (secondary liver cancer) and she suffered the most awful pain for months on end... Thing is, she suffered much more horrific pain than another person (a smoker and abestos inhaler) I knew from the mine fields who had lung cancer...

Pain is also relative to each individual... some are more sensitive to it than others...

Smoker or not, don't ever underestimate how painful any type internal organ cancer can be especially if you are not given adequate pain control drugs... It's a horrible thing to witness... makes you want to start collecting a stash of sleeping tablets for yourself just in case...

I've noticed people who do extreme full on chemo therapy seem to suffer worse painwise than ones who opt out from having it... But then chemo therapy drugs are like ingesting chemical warfare chemicals...

Personally, gathering by what I have seen and heard.... Life can be cruel and doesn't necessarily reward you just because you don't smoke (or don't drink, don't do drugs etc...)

Dingo
.

I am so very sorry for your loss. This seems to a bad year for alot of us . My family has lost my mother and son these pass 3 mos. They say the pain of loss gets better with time. I hope for you and all of us that is true. My thoughts are with you and yours .

I know I was being nasty when I said "serves you right". No one person deserves to suffer horribly.

I guess I'm angry. I was feeling stern over how my Dad continually smoked, until his death, without considering all the medical bills and therapy bills that were accumulated, that his family was ultimately responsible for. And most of all, the emotional damage, and his defiance until the end. I think of the wastefulness of it all and I somehow feel that I have been cheated.

He's dead, my son has no grandfather to buy him ice cream or tell him stories. He will never know that joy. I will never play chess with him again. And for what? So he could smoke. If I hadn't been a witness to the heath issues that smokers suffer, then I may say it wasn't the cigarettes. In the end, they do so much damage, and I can't think of not one single, good, reason that anyone can name which dignifies why they should smoke.

I hate them.

Im sorry to hear about your father,

Im sure that you will have many great stories to tell your son of his grandfather, and many memories to recall and share.

Two of my uncles died before i was born. But when i was young, and to this day. I love to hear stories about them, and the kind of people they were. It still inspires me very much. In this way, I can know and remember them.

My deepest condolences.

This post has been edited by vyrtigo: Nov 9 2008, 08:57 AM

Totally understandable anger... and I image, that though mostly that feeling will abate with time... a relic of that anger and feeling of being cheated will remain with you forever... ??


Interesting you say that... When my mate was dying (I spent most of this year in the big smoke 'nursing' her so she could be at home rather than in hospital most of the time) we talked about death a few times... Her basic conclusion was that the only thing she was really upset and angry about was the fact that she would never get to know her grandchildren... never see them and that they will miss out on having a grandmother... That really pissed her off coz it's a stage in life she knew she was going to never have...

I'm pissed off she won't be around to eventually grow old with and compare life stories... noone to full on whinge and whine with... we were just really really close mates ever since the day dot... shared secrets etc... and now... it's just a big bummer... I also lost a cousin about 4 weeks ago (8 weeks after she died) and though we were close when we were kids, his death doesn't have the effect on me that my mate's death has...

Sometimes a friend can be closer mindwise, easier to talk to about stuff than your own family can... I am close to my family... I love them dearly... but they never knew (know) me like she did... weird eh...

Dingo
.