Aliens have been coming here, but they're hiding, sorta ... why? Why are they here? Why do they look kinda like us? Why are they after the cattle? Why do they abduct people? Why come and then settle out of sight?

Maybe this list will die after one post, never to be resurrected, but I think it would be cool if we could post our wackiest, zaniest, freakiest - most INVENTIVE stories to answer these questions. It could be something you KNOW from inside information, or it could be just a passing whim. Either way: what are your ideas?

Freaky Theory #1
What if we're a lost colony? What if millennia ago, aliens came to start a colony? They did some terraforming. They brought some animals. But then, for whatever reason, they were stranded ... The supply ships stopped coming. What if they sent THEIR ships home, but they never returned? Maybe there was a war. Maybe their civilization collapsed. Maybe their homeworld was eaten by a giant space monkey. Who knows. They lost contact. Now, did the survivors in the colony mutate? Or did the people on the homeworld mutate? Or did the early colonists breed with the monkeys and become us? Who knows. Millennia later, after whatever crisis happened on the homeworld has passed, they return and find: US. Who are we? Do we carry the genes of the colonists, or are we simply monkeys that got smart? Or, are we how THEY used to look before the crisis? Maybe they don't want to destroy us because we're part of them. Maybe they're trying to figure out what to do with us. It would be like if we went into the jungles of the Amazon and found the descendants of a lost conquistador party, living wild in the jungles, having totally forgotten who they are and where they came from, yet possessing certain things: words, symbols, bits and fragments of stories that show that there's a part of them still linked to us. What would we do?

Inspiration for this wacky theory: Roanoke. The first British colony in America was the Roanoke colony. The war with Spain interrupted the supply ships for two years, and when they got back, the colonists were all gone.

There is no one good answer.
If we are to take only a fraction of the occupant reports seriously, we have a big mix of visitors.
I feel that the majority of the mix came after detecting our early experiments with nuclear weapons. The rest, either has been watching us over the centuries or discovered us by chance or by the sharing of information about us.
I do feel that we are the result of forbidden interbreeding. Many of the nordic races reportedly have great lifespans and it has been reported that many of our early biblical figures also lived to an extreme lifespan. That may be a coincidence...or perhaps not.
The greys may be attempting to interject a genetic improvement, to eliminate or reduce our natural aggressive tendancies.

The others are just curious about us and our ways, and naturally, very wary.

kirin-rex, nice post. almost as good a one as I would have done.

I heard a good one not long ago. I was thinking of posting it but changed my mind, it is a bit too much to post here even for a guy like me.

I think this thread has the potential to be very interesting.

Blood sucking and alien skin that eats humans on contact has to be on the list. (In other words humans are lunch)

And lizard men that live in a hollow Earth can't be left out either.

I don't this thread is lacking on things that can be said. The theories abound and many are simply freaky.

This post has been edited by ScottMan: Jun 15 2008, 02:12 AM

No, way, Scottman! If that story is too much for you, I GOTTA hear it! This thread is for the freakiest theories, right? I mean, I didn't start this thread to analyze or debate or look for the truth, but just to think about stuff, and the wilder the theory, the more interesting it must be to read? I'm not looking for facts, or evidence or science ... just originality, creativity, or even just a nice idea, even if it's not original or all that creative.

Here's one:
They have a taste for beef! Maybe we're the only place in the world that has a food (beef) that COMPLETELY (unlike all other 'mystery' meats) does NOT taste like chicken! Maybe that's why they don't abduct chicken. Maybe it's the most ubiquitous flavor in the galaxy, the way EVERYTHING tastes like chicken ... except beef!

Alright Kirin, you want wacky..here goes...
The entire UFO phenomena is the product of a very very advanced race of energy beings that function mostly on a collective basis.
They create weird occurances, aliens and their crafts, just to monitor us and our reactions. These beings many millions of years ago followed a path of evolution close to ours and are using us to learn and entertain themselves(self).
With them almost anything is possible.

'Aliens have been coming here, but they're hiding, sorta ... why? Why are they here? Why do they look kinda like us? Why are they after the cattle? Why do they abduct people? Why come and then settle out of sight?'

non-too-much interference in earthling affairs is one option.
why cattle? research into better burgers for one reason baby!
i think that is important...ever tried nutri-space-slop (its good for you) as dinner roams the savannas below? call me a rustler, but try catching me huh?
why abduct cute guys and chicks for a bit of research and probing and impregnating...humm got me on that one...huh? ahh no..i know its science...like biology...only more fun.

Here's a doozie:


This is not actually the planet Earth you are standing/living on. In fact it is not even a planet. You are really in a dome and everything around you is artificial except you (ala Thr Truman Show but your environment is a HoloDeck).

No one and nothing around you is real. You are not even human. You are not in like the Matrix, because you are physically moving, but you do not know the true reality that is outside the confines of your experiment. You are actually a different type of being that has been placed in a limited "body" and are being monitored for your thoughts and reactions on EVERYTHING you experience as nothing that you see actually represents the real world.

That's right, when you think something, do something, feel something, etc. they are observing and recording it. Even when you masturbate. The reason for all this is that your species is trying to understand what it is like to be "limited" because your species is actually "unlimited" in nature. You volunteered for this experiment and you don't know any of this because it is part of the plan.

You are actually 430,671 years old and so being that you are a youngling, you were chosen to qualify for this experiment. The reason you are on this forum and are interested in this stuff is because you still have the inner instinct of being unlimited. They have introduced the idea of ETs (from a limited human POV) to see how long, if at all, it would take you to realize your unlimited state. As soon as you reach a certain degree of it, at a preset threshold, the experiment will be over and you will be released.

The only way for them to communicate with you, albeit using "human" aliases, is through this particular board. Sould-Drifter is actually of of the senior project leaders and has been assigned to monitor all of your keystrokes, even the ones you repent of and delete before you post the finished post.

The only thing that is allowed from your 'real' unlimited world that you have access to is pizza. It is the universal unlimited food.

So, how are the limits coming along?

Cool, Admiral. I sometimes feel this way about life: that we are immortal and unlimited, but that we CHOOSE to limit ourselves in these bodies, and in this universe of limitations because there is something we can learn from the experience.

From the consistant inconsistancy of abduction reports I conclude these;

1. They can control our perceptions and memory, create unreal virtual memory.
2. They project false memory that play into the abductees belief systems.
a. Tell some they have been selected for a special purpose
b. Present as different entites, grays, reptoids, insectoids, tall whites, military
c. Inform some they are here to help us rise to a higher consciousness
d. Inform some they are here to rescue us from our folly
e. Tell some they are here to repair their genetic weakness
f. Show some visions of Jesus or other significant figures
g. Just plain scare the beejesus out of some
3. Prevent physical evicence of presence so that mainstream science has reason to deny
4. Posture and display allowing only ancedotal evidence to establish two widely divergent positions UFO and Skeptic

Much confusion and lack of cohesive belief as to purpose is deliberate. Keep us from agreeing and uniting, divide and conquar mentality.

Why would confusion and hiding in plain sight suit their purpose?

They are farming us. Exact product and purpose is not clear but it is clear that it is something we would deny them if they simply asked. So they misdirect, falsify, promote divergent beliefs, and create general confusion as to real purpose.

Face the truth folks. If their intent and purpose were really honerable they would simply land on the white house lawn and say hello. They keep many in belief that soon they will present themselves publicly, yet it never happens. Others are tricked into belief in divine purpose, that is never fully revealed.

Do any of these actions sound like someone with honerable intint?

They promote distrust of our governments.
Goblins, the Devil, Demons, Elves, Fairies, Angels = They have been with us for a long time and adjust the illusions they project to fit our growth in social belief systems.

They manipulate from the shadows and stay just out of reach.
Does this sound like a friend, or a user taking advantage.

This is not my wildest theory. This is what the evidence says.

Good stuff, Bart.

I agree. Good stuff, Bart. John Keel, who wrote The Mothman Prophecies put forward the idea that they might be something terrestrial, an unseen intelligence that takes its shape from our subconscious, like the folkloric spirit IT described in An Encyclopedia of Fairies (edited by Katherine Briggs).

The skeptic would say that we update our subconcious architypal fear of of the dark to fit our current tecnology and social belief systems. Further that we balance our fear of evil from the dark with our religious angels from the light. Good and evil in constant battle coming from the moon and sun chasing each other yielding night and day.

I see these as the two most likly explenations.

Monsters from the ID, or preditors hiding in the shadows?

The Greys are really us from the future after we lose hair, get bigger heads, and weird eyes and just turn kind of ugly. That's from my 7th grade science teacher, with the "Turn ugly" part added by me.

Now, this is my idea:

They travel the galaxy looking for planets with moons that are big enough to build orbital Starbucks out, so that reptilians, insectoids, mammalians, sentient shades of the color blue, and every other type of life in the Universe can have an artificial environments designed for them in the giant Starbucks, which our moon really is. That's also why man wants to go to the moon so badly, and Starbucks are here on Earth.

Starbucks was started by aliens who were building them on Earth for non-Human citizens to gather, so really it's all a giant economic scam that in 2012 will be finished, and "Starbucks Luna" will be finished and the world-wide chain of Starbucks on Earth will close, causing a major lose of world-wide money, causing economic failure that will make a world-wide economic collapse and that is what the Mayans predicted; their calender is really the projected plans for the massive economic takeover and thus, they will absorb us into the Starbuckian Empire. The Mayans were the first of the Empire to come to Earth and begin the planning, but the calender was lost when they had to go home and thus the project was going on for an indefinite amount of time until the calender was found.

Also, Stonehenge was also part of the plan, but the aliens in charge came down with the flu and died, so it was never finished. It was supposed to be a giant Starbucks sign for other aliens to know that the Starbuckian Empire was taking a stronghold. That's why we see UFOs today: They don't know where to land to get to work at first in order to join to work force, Earth division.


That is my theory on why aliens are here. It makes sense to me, you know that things like Starbucks don't happen naturally on planets like Earth. Microsoft is also ran by aliens, but their goal is to merely blend in with the people, not take over.

the greys left there own planet due to lack of available employment,poor housing and a corrupt government,once getting to earth they claim gallactic asylum,they are held in Area 51 for 42 days,they are then given a house,a mercedes and luncheon vouchers and all live in Birmingham.

You know the funny thing, i don't know if you were kidding or not, and that's not far fetched from the other stories people come up with.

This post has been edited by pcuser: Jun 17 2008, 07:43 PM

Best theory so far. I second that.

Mr. E: That's hilarious! I love it!

How about this one:

Due to a personal dislike of our ways, they marooned us here so that we would not pollute their culture with things like Starbucks, Coca Cola, Smart cars and movies. It's all too radical. Not to mention the load music! They could hear is light years away! And the space ships that come are young rebels that want heavy metal and Britney Spears.


This is of course a comical version of something I read years ago.

This post has been edited by ScottMan: Jun 17 2008, 09:10 PM

Lol, Scottman. Douglas Adams had something like that in his Hitchhiker's stories: that humankind consisted of all of the useless and loony people of some other world who were tricked into thinking they would be the first wave of a colony escaping their planet's destruction by, as I remember it, a giant mutant star goat. Their ship was programmed to crash because the people getting rid of them didn't want them back.

earthlings and others must project their hopes and fears somewhere that makes sense to them: and if the gods are taken away they look to the stars. or they hate each other too much.?
well thats normal but should be seen in its light of projected fears and hopes and this discerned from the objective interest.