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Kirin-Rex Super Paranormal Alien UFO Monster Blog

My Last Blog Post ... Forever

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by , 05-18-2011 at 07:32 AM (604 Views)
This will be the last entry in The Kirin-Rex Super Paranormal Alien UFO Monster Blog. I will never post here again. No, I'm not leaving. You are.

I'm here to WARN YOU!

The world will end in approximately 25 minutes.

The sun, as I write this, is dying. In a little less than 25 minutes, it will be completely dead and cold.

The seas and lakes and rivers and birdbaths will evaporate.

The sky will fall.

The moon will crumble to dust.

The forest and flowers and the little bonsai trees will shrivel up and die.

And so will you.

So will you and everybody you know.

In a little less than 23 minutes.

And there is nothing that you or anybody else can do about it.

Just thought you should know.

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Categories
the apocalypse

Comments

  1. sapph's Avatar
    thank u for the warning :/
    i don't know what to wear tho . .
  2. kirin-rex's Avatar
    No, the world did not end as I originally predicted. I was not wrong however. There has been a brief reprieve. Instead ...

    The world will end in approximately 25 minutes.

    There is terrible plague.

    You are already infected.

    You and everybody you have ever known and loved has been infected for months now.

    As you walked through your daily life these last few months, you've been silently and secretly spreading a contagion to everyone you've met.

    Sometime within the next 24 minutes, you and everyone you know will begin to show symptoms: fatigue, sweating, nausea, violent vomiting and diarrhea, cramps, convulsions, and extreme pain, following which your flesh will rot off and you will die.

    Sometime within the next 23 minutes.

    And there is nothing that you or anybody else can do about it.

    Just thought you should know.
  3. sapph's Avatar
    mm i thought it did end?!
  4. kirin-rex's Avatar
    The END has once again been delayed. But I have had another vision. Instead ...

    The world will end in approximately 8 hours

    Armageddon is coming.

    The trumpets will be smashed.

    The seals will be blown.

    The dead will rise.

    The angels will wage war in heaven.

    Satan will be unleashed.

    And King Arthur will return, riding on a dinosaur, to lead the armies of righteousness against the evil AKB48.

    You and everyone you have ever known will be slaughtered.

    And there is nothing that you or anybody else can do about it.

    Just thought you should know.
  5. kirin-rex's Avatar
    Although doomsday did not come as I predicted, I was not wrong. Merely I did not foresee the events that would delay THE END once more.

    But I have returned to warn you. The world will indeed end. In fact ...

    The world will end in approximately 4 hours.

    Rain will fall.

    Seas will rise.

    Rivers will flood their banks.

    Toilets will overflow.

    People will piss uncontrollably.

    You and everyone you know will drown (at least those who didn't die of dehydration first).

    And there is nothing you can do about it.

    Just thought you should know.
  6. sapph's Avatar
    laugh out loud xP
  7. kirin-rex's Avatar
    Thanks to the many people who hummed in unison and all together flushed their toilets, we have again averted disaster, thanks in large part to my foresight.

    However, we are once again confronted by the dark specter of Armageddon, and it falls to me to be the harbinger of doom. For I have had another psychic message from beyond. I'm sorry to say this, but ...

    The world will end in approximately two and half hours.

    A superhot radioactive dwarf star is hurtling towards the Earth.

    Unfortunately, this is not mere chance.

    A hostile alien species went back in time more than a billion years, built a star cannon and fired the star at us from way across the galaxy and only now, after millennia of travel through space, their weapon of destruction has finally arrived.

    In a little less than two and a half hours, the star, which I have called George, will collide with the Earth.

    The atmosphere will be burned away.

    The seas will boil away into nothing.

    The forests will be reduced to cinders.

    And you, you and everyone you know, will be deep fat crispy fried.

    And then George will strike and blow the Earth to smithereens, thus finishing the destruction the aliens began more than a billion years ago.

    And there is nothing that you or anybody else can do about it.

    Just thought you should know.
  8. kirin-rex's Avatar
    Okay, okay, okay, so the planet didn't die, there wasn't a plague or a flood or a rogue planet, and King Arthur didn't come back riding a dinosaur. So I was wrong ONE time. You people are so skeptical! You're PROGRAMMED to be against anything that doesn't fit into your little box-like minds!

    Well FINE! There's gonna be a disaster, even bigger than anything I mentioned so far, MON-U-MENTAL, and I know when it's gonna be, but I'm not gonna tell you because you guys laughed it. So fine! I'm done!
  9. lett26's Avatar
    tum-de-dum... the world is still here And to think that even the bonsai trees would shrivel, meanie!
    Updated 05-24-2011 at 06:22 AM by lett26
  10. nivek's Avatar
    I'm still holding out for King Arthur to appear riding on a Dinosaur...There would be no mistaking that sign...:thumbs: