the apocalypse

New scientific research indicates that at the current rate of decline, the Earth will become a dark, barren, frozen planet by the end of 2011. Furthermore, I believe that I have tracked the cause of this disaster.

The cause ... is the new iPhone3Gs.

t was released in the U.S., Canada and six European countries on June 19, 2009,[3] in Australia and Japan on June 26,[23] and saw international release in July and August 2009.

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPhone[/ame] ...

So I was biting into a jelly donut the other day, you know, the glazed ones with raspberry filling ... and anyway, I was about to take my second bite ... okay third, whatever ... when I looked into my jelly donut and saw something I have never seen in a jelly donut before: people. There were people in my jelly donut. Tiny people. Millions of them. Maybe billions. There were cities, and towers. There were farms, and tiny animals on the farms. All in my jelly donut. Living in the raspberry filling. ...

To all people on the planet Earth! I have come to warn you! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! Yes, brothers and sister, we are under attack by sinister alien forces that are INVADING OUR HOMES. They are watching us, studying us, even ... oh, God! ... even INVADING OUR BODIES!!!!!

I have photographic proof, ladies and gentlemen. Submit my photos to the highest scrutiny. They are 100% genuine photos, proof that our planet is under attack by an intelligent alien species bent on nothing less ...

Preliminary studies indicate that they have invaded the most insidious places ...



But that's not all. Scientists have been conducting secret studies of these aliens ...



and have discovered that THEY ARE NOT ALONE!!!! They are in fact working in tandem with a militaristic species that they ...

IM SORRY I HAVENT BLOGGED FOR NEARLY TWO WEEKS BUT I HAVE GOOD REASON I HAVE BEEN IN THE COURSE OF INTENSIVE INVESTIGATIONS INTO ONE OF THE MOST SHOCKING GLOBAL CONSPIRACIES EVER I HAVE FOUND THE SMOKING GUN ACTUAL PHYSICAL PROOF AND INSIDE WITNESSES TO A CONSPIRACY OF VAST SCOPE AND PROPORTIONS ACCORDING TO MY SUPER SECRET CONTACTS BOTH WITHIN THE US GOVERNMENT AND AMONG OUR ALIEN ALLIES I CAN NOW REVEAL SOME DETAILS OF THIS HORRIFYING CONSPIRACY ACCORDING TO MY CONTACTS THE UNIVERSE IS ACTUALLY ...