The Dreaded Question?

**iwant2believe2** · 11-04-2004, 05:20 PM

Well, I'm wondering as the question that I've dreaded having to answer came up the other day from my four year old...what does one tell their child about...shit how do I put it...ok my daughter wanted to know where her daddy was...to make a long story short...I got rid of him when she was less than a year old (after he was involuntarily institutionalized for mental health) and had his rights terminated to protect her...of course there's much more to the story but I wont go into it...ah, now do I even begin to explain all this to my daughter?

**sriontoc** · 11-04-2004, 05:24 PM

try not to lie, thats the only advice I can give?

**iwant2believe2** · 11-04-2004, 05:36 PM

I know...I dont want to lie...I just dont know how to say it without making her feel like he didnt love her but that's the truth of it

**affa** · 11-04-2004, 05:42 PM

I"ll explain it when you get older, honey.. Is all you have to say now. When the time comes and she can understand. Tell the truth. I'ts up to her if she wants to look him up

**iwant2believe2** · 11-04-2004, 05:57 PM

Ty

**Opal princess** · 11-04-2004, 06:16 PM

tell her the truth in the kindest way you can.. leave a few gaps for filling in later.. Little children will take on board what they will from a situation and move back to the play doh.. as long as you never make it a closed subject and answer her questions.. you can filter in more and more as she gets older..

**iwant2believe2** · 11-04-2004, 06:29 PM

yes, I never talk about it nor allow anyone to bring it up around her...but its bound to come up more...at least in her mind...I just want her to understand that it had nothing to do with her...that there's nothing wrong with her...he just could not be a father

**affa** · 11-04-2004, 06:33 PM

Remember one simple rule:

K I S S

**Opal princess** · 11-04-2004, 06:39 PM

No AFFA..IT'S HUG..... You'll do it very well I am sure TuTu... just remember to be prepared for any daft questions she may come up with... might onlyu want to know his favourite flavour of ice cream right now.. and where he is.. never hide from the answers ..