I know you all don't know me very well,I wanted to share a sad story with you. I come here for my itch of Alien/UFO goodies. Nearly 22 years ago I found out that I had a half brother and sister. Just this past year I was getting to know my brother for the first time.

I'm 38 now and he had just turned 21. Right off the bat I found out some disturbing information about him. He told me that he could hear things that no one else could hear, and that he suffered from anxiety, to which I told him that I have been suffering from chronic Panic disorder for nearly 10 years now. When he came to my house with my Father I noticed a well mannered young man. But, deep inside was something else. About 2 months ago he stood near a bridge (and we believe that he wanted to end his life). They (police) took him to the psych ward and found that he has borderline Schizophrenia with depression. He was in there for a few week and then released. My father was distraught over all this and really tried to make things easier for him. New TV, Computer, painted his room. They even went on a vacation for a bit. But, my brother never really enjoyed life.

I can remember some of our conversations over the internet. He would ask me a question about my health and try to justify his feelings. Sometimes, he wouldn't make sense or even backtrack to a previous conversation.

One day he told his dad that he just wanted to sleep. He felt nothing, no love no emotions. He heard voices at times and just hated life. Well, two mornings ago he got up grabbed a cup of coffee said hi to his mom and dad, walked out back looked around (this was a morning ritual dad said, he did this every morning) Then he walked to his room locked the door and 30 minutes later he got his Russian mouser with a full metal jacket round and took his own life. No note, no good bye, no nothing.

It's a terrible thing, to live through life lifeless. If that makes sense at all. I know what thoughts have gone through my head during major panic attacks. I have thought about taking my own at times. It's the most horrific feeling on the world.

Why am I here (someone you don't know personally) on this board talking about (someone that you don't know either?) My only though is to maybe spread my shortened story to others so that maybe they can detect sorrow in someones life and try to make a difference before something drastic takes place. I guess, I really don't know. But, thank you for listening.

Sorry about your loss bro.

Peace

Sorry to hear about your brother mate, but thank you for sharing the story with us.
tt

SixKings, believe me, my heart really goes out to you. I am so sorry. Here, you find this young man, coming into your life, now this. There are just no words, but my thoughts are with you.

By the way, I have panic disorder myself, tho' my recent years have been pretty good, so I can relate. It ain't easy.

Hang in there, SixKings, glad you wrote. Hope to see you around.

Mary

Distressing and devastating information you have imparted here Six Kings - My thoughts are very much with you - I can relate to what you say on so many levels I wouldn't know where to begin - so all I will say for now is God bless and keep your chin up - we really do feel for you and wish you all the best.

Ben

Six Kings There are few words that can bring comfort at a time like this, except to say our hearts and prayer are with you.

The symptoms of Schizophrenia are not always recognised, even though one in every hundred people suffer from the illness, and to the ill informed they can never understand the trauma you and your family have been through.

Thank you for sharing your story

Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful words.

have a good evening!

Still thinking about you, SixKings. All the best!

Mary

SixKings: My heart goes out to you. Your story brings tears to my eyes. I'm sorry for your loss. Its very brave and kind of you to share your story in hopes that it will prevent a similar tragedy from happening again.

What about your half sister? Are you in touch with her? Maybe the two of you can mourn your sibbling and help each other deal with the loss. God Bless you and take care of yourself.

Well, I am hoping that this tragedy will possibly bring us closer. I have only seen her twice (including the funeral services). So, I have no Idea if she even feels the need to get to know me. I have written an email to her (given to me by my Father) but, she has yet to return a reply. So, I really don't know yet. It would be nice though.

Hi Sixkings, that is a really tragic end to a life.
I cant even imagine how he must have been feeling at the time. I can however understand how you are feeling, somethings come into our lives and then are taken away only to leave us wondering why.

Its hard to think that he is in a better place right now, but he is, he is out of the torment he must have been going through, but unfortunatly that leaves the people behind in a state of torment to.

I really hope you manage to contact your half sister and that you will be able meet her and talk with her. My thoughts are with you hun. xxxxx

Well, she has just accepted my invitation to be on my Yahoo IM list. SO, I hope this is a step in the right direction!

As far as my brother, you're right. He's in a better place now, and is looking down upon us. I just hope that he finally feels the love from his family and friends.

Im sure he will be, hey be careful with your sister. These things take time and you have plenty of time so you dont need to rush each other.

Im glad shes at least going to talk with you, it must be a great feeling for you.

Good luck xxx

sixkings hello remember the time spent with your brother even it was for a short time. my heart goes out to you. when people die they are sadly missed but never forgotton .

Hey everyone ***** Update******

This is the email I received this morning from her. Her exact words I just put in quotes. I am so stoked... I have a sister!!!



Look, she wrote: "Love your little sis" How cool is that?

I'm delighted for you mate - truly delighted.

Ben