I am 16 years old and my life seems to be going down the drain. It all really started a few years back when I was in grade 8, my mother and father got a divorce and I had to move to a new house. I had to choose who I was going to live with so I decided to first live with my dad because he was still in the area that I grew up in. I lived with him for a whole year and finished up my grade 9 year. During that year however my dad seemed to never be around, he was always out with women and he never wanted to see me or my two siblings. He always took his anger out on me, he would yell at me constantly for no reason. So I began to hate him and I decided to move away from the town I grew up in, I had to move from all my friends to a place where I knew nobody. I moved in with my mom and I got signed up for my grade 10 year but I just couldn't handle it and after a few months of school I decided to quit. But then truent officers came to my house, they said what I was doing was illegal and that I would have to go to court if it kept up. But somehow I got off the hook for the first semester.

So the second semester was coming around but I still just didnt want to go to school. I was seeing a psychiatrist for a period of time but it did no good. I eventually moved back to my dads once again to do my second semester. I went to school for three days and then quit once again. More truent officers began to see me. But I got off the hook again somehow and I failed the entire year.

So now it is the summer holidays but they are coming to an end and if I dont return to school I will have to go to court. So at night I lie in bed in total fear of what will happen to me. I just dont want to go to school anymore but no one will leave me alone. I always get the speech about how I need school and so on but I dont care and I dont want it. So I have this to worry about and on top of it I have to worry about the love life that I have never had. I am 16 and never had a girlfriend. I try and try but they always say no. I want to have somebody so bad, someone to talk to but no one wants me. My best friend and his girlfriend always come to my house and they make out and so on while I sit there trying to watch T.V. I want that but I just cant get it no matter how hard I try.

Sometimes I wish the end of the world would come. I hate the world we live in, it is run by a society of lies, corruption, the media, and posessions. I dont want to have to pay money to a government that will put it in their own pockets. I dont want people to tell me what I can and cant do yet at the same time tell me im free, its bullshit. We werent meant to get up and work all day so that we can live, and then just die old and unhappy. The world is sick and twisted and I cant stand it. I want more than this, im sick of having nothing and being nothing. I dont know what to do with myself anymore, all I can do is hope for change.

Well thanks for taking the time to read my post. And I wish everyone well.

Hi mate, sounds like things have been a little rough. I also came from split up parents, its never easy, I was about your age when it happened to. Basically while I cant take your pain away, I can offer you advice: Its not the end of your life my friend. Your 16. Im not sure what its like in Canada, and school doesnt seem to be working out to well, have you thought about working, maybe start an apprenticeship or something? It may give you something to do, to create, and just help pass some time until you make a decision on where you want to go with life.
I wish I had more to offer, I hope that helps, and all the best

pg... I know this stuff seems overwhelmingly difficult for you right now, but you've got to tough it out, and do not ever give up. Taking care of yourself is just part of the human condition. WE are an animal, self-aware, but still an animal. Survival is in our genes. You've got plenty of time for a girlfriend. Get in school & put your nose to the grindstone. Yeah, you may not use everything that you learn later on, but the main point is to develop your life & self-survival skills. It is of the utmost importance for you in your quest to succeed in life. Your (OUR) time here is extremely fleeting, use it wisely. I'm sorry that things appear to be beyond your control, but I assure you, NO one but you can rule your mind & drive to succeed.

A clown once said to a girl after he handed her a balloon "but remember you are responsible for your own happiness."

Dear Pilot Guy,

I feel for you and the current situation you find yourself in. My strongest advice to you is to seek professional help as soon as possible.

The only imperfect knowledge I can offer is based upon the fact that I was once sixteen and the fact that my parents split up when I was quite young; and the fact that I have successfully made it this far (57 years old).

The main difference between you and I was that I grew up in a different time and place. Back then there was a stronger feeling of hope for the future, not as much for this generation I fear.

It is my amateur opinion that you are suffering from depression. In that state it is difficult to correctly assess the situation you are in. Everything seems dark and distant to you resulting in a kind of fear paralysis.

Have you no male role models you can look up to, call upon, seek advice and/or assistance from? Anyone you can talk to about your feelings besides the people here?

With what you've stated about your relationship with your Dad it doesn't seem like you learned how to live in a functional way. Your hate for your dad may have spread to your feelings about school, society and life in general. You seem to be a prime candidate for suicide or the slower suicide of substance abuse addiction.

You hint at what is behind your problems: fear. I suspect you are afraid of failing and yet withdrawing from school and other aspects of living are already manifestations of the failure you fear. Showing fear is usually evidence of a lack of understanding.

You say you believe if you could find a girlfriend things would be better for you. This is a common misconception. Believe me, if you haven't already figured out how to be happy being alone you're not likely to find happiness in a relationship with someone else. What you may really be seeking is escape from an unloved, unwanted self into that of another person. There is no true, lasting escape from oneself.

If you want to try and figure this out for yourself you're going to have to thoroughly understand your situation. From what I can gather you couldn't handle school. What part of school? The teachers, the students, the curriculum, the study, the homework, the getting up early? Finding the answers will help improve your understanding.

Could it be that what you really hate is the idea of having to grow up, accept responsibility, maintain a job, provide for yourself and become totally self-reliant? If you cannot accept the workload that is required of an adolescent you're not likely going to be able to handle the workload of an adult, in which case you're not likely going to find a girl who will be willing to share her life with you.

Life offers to everyone the choice of truth or repose. Indolence is a kind of suicide. The way to be nothing is to do nothing. The greatest gift we can give to ourself or anyone else is a more developed self. We are what we do. Self-challenge creates self-belief. Most people don't lack strength, they lack will. Will is our character in action. You have two valuable gifts, time and youth, don't waste them.

You say you try and try to date girls but they always say no. You say you wish you had a girlfriend to talk to. What's preventing you now from just talking to them? Could it be you're coming on too strong? Couldn't you just talk casually with a girl until she got to know you better and then ask her out?

When a girl decides to date a guy, she is seeing him, not only through her own eyes, but through the eyes of her family and friends. She considers at least four aspects of her potential mate: physical appearance, practicality, potential and personality, usually in that order.

Unless you are handsome, tall, large, rich, athletic, talented or a good dancer (usually in that order) your chances of attracting your dream girl will be limited.

Practicality can be determined by a woman in how she feels while being seen in public with you. If her friends and family all say that she can do better she will probably look elsewhere. No woman wants to risk hearing anyone speak up at her wedding when the minister asks 'If anyone can give good reason why these two should not be linked in matrimony, let them speak now.'

Potential is the possibilities she sees in you for the future even though you have nothing to show her now. She can estimate your potential by your energy level, your perseverance, commitment, your determination in seeing things through, your resourcefulness, your hopes, plans, dreams.

She can see herself in your future through the enthusiasm you display today. What is your five year plan, that is where do you plan to be in five years? It is said: 'Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.' You must realize you will eventually need to provide for yourself. Start planning today!

Personality traits such as honesty, caring, kindness etc. are usually touted as the main attraction for women but in most cases it is not. It appears most women would rather take a chance on improving upon the personality of a handsome nut to living contentedly with a plain but emotionally stable man.

This is not to say you shouldn't develop the loving aspects of your personality. To me, this is the most important area to be developed. In conjunction with this, learn to love your body by taking the very best care of it. Build up your muscles while you can, clean your teeth and your body frequently. Show your potential mate that you have the capacity to care for them at least as well as you care for your own body.

Women are very perceptive creatures and will naturally be attracted to you if you show less interest in them and more interest in improving upon yourself. If we are to mend the world we need to start by first mending ourselves.

In short, it is going to require a lot of energy to get active in order to pull yourself out of the rut you find yourself in. The best alternative to the mind altering drugs prescribed for depression are the ones your own brain creates as a result of engaging in a regular and vigorous exercise program.

You wont participate in an exercise program if you don't feel like it. You wont feel like it if you don't have a ready reserve of energy available. You wont have a ready reserve of energy available if you engage in daily activities that drain your strength instead of building on it.

As for the girls, the best place I found at locating them when I was your age was in school. You will need a high school diploma before you can go on to college. Luckily, I understand, Canada provides no-cost higher education for all of its citizens. How fortunate you are!

Now all you need to do is find your 'bliss'. That special field of interest that appeals to you more as a hobby than as a job. Check out the various employment based websites like Monster.com that cater to providing analysis of your interests, talents and abilities. The information gathered there can help you determine what you would like to do as a vocation in life.

In conclusion, you are not a bad person, a weak person, a lazy person Pilot Guy. You are simply a frightened child who has good reasons to feel the way you do. But you are also a guy totally filled with an unimaginable potential for enriching your own life as well as the life of others! I wish you much happiness and success!
________________________
"The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation, which depend upon the future. We let go the present, which we have in our power, and look forward to that which depends upon chance, and so relinquish a certainty for an uncertainty." Seneca

Wow... that sounds like my best friend, only with his life stretched out to the age of 16 and not 13.

I personally can't realate to anything other than not having a girlfriend (Which I consider a good thing) and probably not having one for along time. Yet, I am here for you if you need anything. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you.

You only have one life, live it as well as you can. If not, then that's what you want. Only you and you only can make your destiny.

School might suck... but you should go anyway. You might make new friends, you may find a subject that really interests you.

I can't stress enough how important it is to try and stay in school - no one WANTS to go to school. But really, in ten years time I think you may regret not going. I remember being 16 - you can't see past where you are at that point. But trust me, you do grow up, you mature and you will perhaps regret not finishing school.

What do you do all day? Do you have a job? If you are infact suffering from depression, which you may very well be, sitting at home all day is not going to help. You need to make a plan. If you really don't want to return to school for legitimate reasons (other than perhaps being a little lazy and not wanting to put in the hard yards) get a job, or apprenticeship like perfectly_dark suggested. Start earning your own money.

Life is not handed to us on a silver platter unfortunately. We have to take an active part in where our life is heading. You need to make some choices PG...

But please think about going back to school.. there's only a few more years until you'd be finished with it, and then you may have the opportunity to go to college or something. Just have a think about it.

Great advice here, pilot guy...

I really want to thank everyone for all the advice and the support it means a lot to me, thank you. I am going through a tough time and I just need people to talk to, I have been to a psychiatrist but I am always to afraid to completely open up, even on here I didnt mention everything it was just a small bit of what is going on in my life. I just feel so overwhelmed right now because once my summer holidays are over a decision will have to be made about school and sadly I dont know what that decision will be. I have been thinking about what I am going to do with my life ever since I first stopped going to school but I still just dont know. I dont know what to make of my dad right now because sometimes he is alright and then other times he yells at me for pointless reasons. And Russ what you said about getting a girlfriend and me maybe coming on to strong, its not that I have had close female friends and I have asked them out but they say no to me. I always feel very alone almost as if I was meant to live in another time period. As for the whole education thing I really love to write stories, scripts, etc. I love coming up with unique characters and powerful plots. I have family connections to the film industry so maybe I could start doing some training in there. Once again I would like to say thank you to everyone.-P.G

Dear Pilot Guy,

I'm glad you see an avenue you can pursue. You seem very bright, certainly bright enough to accomplish what you set your mind to. Preperation, perseverence and persistance will be needed to see it through. The important thing is that you get moving in a definite direction.

Stay active, forget yourself in your work/play. Before you know it you will have accomplished something you can feel proud of and begin to radiate the confidence that women find so attractive in a man.

I suspected you received no help from the psychiatrist because you didn't open up. Perhaps you can be referred to another who you can have more trust and confidence in - perhaps a female this time.

We all encourage you to go back to school and work especially hard in your English class. Hopefully you will be allowed to concentrate on the basics of vocabulary, grammar, punctuation, word structure etc. This will help you immensely in your writing career. Good luck!
______________________
'Rarely do we fail the subject we receive an 'A' in effort in.'

I see now. It appears you have a incredibly hard muliple choice problem right now. It would seem that you have a destiny of writing and a single life, yet you want a bit more, yes? You yearn for a life of writing and sharing your life with another, correct? You wish that you could find someone who understands you, someone that'll be there with you to the end and beyond, not only as a friend but as someone you can rely on if needed. Correct? I'm here if you want to talk, and if you want you can just PM me about it. I'm not a therapist, but I do have a certain knack at understanding people sometimes*.

*Sometimes. Not always. Any failing to understand is never to be held against me, I'm only human.

Hey PG. Do you have any of your writing I can read? Don’t worry about your love life, I have none what so ever, but I figure it’ll happen. Good luck with everything you decide to do. )

Hi Pilot

16 is a time where you do think of these type of things. Your life to then was probably not what you wanted but you probably just didnt feel like saying anything about it, but you would have showed it for sure.

Not the entire world is twisted, corrupt, only those who want power. I never wanted power and dont allow myself to think about that part of the world.

My grandmother-who died christmas eve 2002 used to talk with me a lot, we were very close, and she once said in 2000 that the world had become evil, but that she thought there was hope as not everyone thought that way.

She always said this: First-No matter what you do, do it to please yourself if no-one else, but always do things which others would notice, without telling them. Make sure you respect others,(even if they seem to be doing things your totally against) if not, how can you expect to be respected. You lost respect for your dad.

But always know that no matter how small your intenetions that big things do happen to those who have patience.

You might think of yourself as having no meaning and your worth nothing. But there are people who notice the small things in life more than you think.

We all want to be liked and loved and to have what we want and to do what we want. You do that everyday, you came in here, so you went where you wanted to go. Its these small things Pilot you should be looking for, not the bigger picture. We live in the bigger picture but we survive in the smaller outcomes.

I totally agree we work til we are old and die-thats a sad life indeed, but in the chaos of it all we do have days of absolute happiness.

I know you hate school,but just stay there another year or two, dont be in such a hurry to be in the world you so dispise so quickly. Live your life as you see it not how you want it to be. School is not for everyone either, but if you leave you might be even more unhappy as you have more time on your hands to get into trouble..

There are 6 Billion humans all trying to be happy-millions are not but they survive and your a survivor, many of us are..

I have survived my three best friends dying within two months of each other. I have survived my dad, my grand father-grandmaother all dying in the past 13 years, my entire history gone like that.

Its painful as your life seems to be to you, but after all that I still smile, I still think of them even the bad things...the times I should have said more or didn't say enough.

My advice after all this is this: None of us like working all our lives. I Agree with you why work to you die and never have a chance to relax etc...You dont have to do that if you dont want to, but you should do something that will make you happy. Not all work is like that. I work from home doing web design.

Who would have thought when I left school-no internet-no mobile phones, no i-pod etc..that oneday I was going to be sitting at a keybord and going out when I want. I had never used a keyboard or anything, it was all new and I wanted to learn it and I did.

You sound very intelligent, you know what you want and what you dont have, its up to you to keep going and not give up because one-day you will come back in here and say; "remember me I was pilot who didnt like my life my family and where I was heading, but I decided to do more than I was doing now and work (not in the work sense) towards what I want, you can do it pilot many others have.

Just think of all the poorer people than ourselves, the homeless in Africa, no food no water no shelter...Yet they hope one day to not be like that-if they can think like that IM positive you can to

By the way-If you can ever come to Australia I will show you around anywhere you want..DONT GIVE UP!!!! Your life is as a good or bad as you want it to be, make it beeter okay, dont let life get you down your stronger than your weakneses..

If you want something enough you will have it-its that simple, just dont try for the biggest goal, work towards what you want. Get training online to be what you want, you dont have to work on anyones terms but your own.

You can email me anytime at mj129@hotmail.com

As for the gfriend, many look for a lifetime and find no-one and many more find a girl when they are least expecting it. Expect the un-expected and go about your life and not worry about these type of things, depression is a lot worse than finding out you can actually do more than you know you can.

Make sure you come back in here, dont just leave, you might find you meet friends and who knows you might meet someone you like *S*

But dont ever give up, that is worse. I still dont know what to do with my life and im a bit older than you...Life is short anyway, dont make it shorter by your own hands, be positive, do what you wilt shall be the whole of the law...

take care pilot and know that people do care even though you dont notice..