A few months ago my second teenager (15) had an...aberration in his normally sound judgment. He was riding his bike around his old school with a few kids he normally doesn't hang out with, anyway things got stupid and he and 2 other kids started throwing stones and between them they broke a few windows. They left the scene and split up. Well as my son had at the time a fairly distinctive hair style he was easily identified and we had a phone call from the police. They had apprehended him near the school. After a very intimidating hour in the interrogation room and many tears a very subdued boy walked out of the police station. Fortunately he had enough sense to own up, and be completely cooperative with the police, this i think went in his favor. Unfortunately though they tried to blame him for half the crimes in our little town. They did the good cop bad cop routine on him, i thought this only happened on TV, but no. At first I didn't mind as I thought the scare would do him good. But as it turned out, the bad cop really was the bad cop. He really did think he did all this other stuff. Fortunately much of what they accused him of happened when he was over 100km away down the beach. This we were easily able to verify for the police. But the bad cop still insisted he did the other stuff as well. We spoke to him and there was no evidence at all to put him anywhere near any of the crimes. This cop however just didn't like him and was determined to throw the book at him. Anyway they eventually sent him on his way with a warning under the understanding that if any other evidence was forthcoming that put him at the other places he would be charged. they said he just used his get out of jail free card.

But here is the thing. I know all parents don't want to see bad in there kids. But, I know he was not involved in anything else, the windows were a one off. We went over all he was accused of and was able to account for his whereabouts in my memory and my wifes. So it truly was a one off.

This had a profound effect on him. As a normally very sensible boy, he realized how it could have all ended up differently. He in an apprentice builder and his boss is an ex cop. He knows he would surely have lost his job had it gone bad. The bad cop is friends with his now ex girlfriends family. The cop told them what happened, the family then made him unwelcome and his girlfriend dumped him.
So much for privacy. He was devastated and took a long time to get over her.

And here is the bit that pissed us off. My wife recently went to the school to pick up my youngest son (10). The principle called her aside and asked her to request my son to keep away from the school. She said he had been seen trying to kick in one of the school doors by a cleaner, she said he was identified as the boy who broke the windows previously. Now this blew us away as he learned so much of a lesson previously my wife said that it was virtually impossible. She explained to the principle that my son was so effected by his last experience. So terrified by this cop trying to pin on him things that he did not do, that he had asked us to keep a diary of his moments when not at home so that if the cop came back he could account for where he was. None the less my wife said we will question him about it. When he got home from work he instantly got teary, not because of guilt, but because of fear, its happening again mum isn't it he said. Anyway we talked about it and tried to work out where he was that night. We forgot to fill in his diary. Then I realized where he was. He was with me, two of his brothers, and my older sister visiting my mum in hospital who had just had a heart attack and heart failure. I clearly remembered the night, he was home from after work, looking on eBay for a new motorbike, then we went straight to the hospital and got home about 9:30 pm. I was able to verify this with sister, and one of the nurses at the hospital.
I rang the principle and told her, fortunately she accepted that and did not want to take the matter any further (with him) But then she said, what about the cost of the broken windows from months ago. We said OK fair enough, we were never asked to pay for them, but we will, but what about the other kids that were there, they should also share the cost. the principle said "what other kids".
She didn't know there were other kids involved.
When my son spoke to police for the windows, he has made a full admission of what he did, as well as telling (on our advice) the police the names of the two other kids that were involved that actually started the whole thing and broke most of the windows.
But surprise surprise, not only were the kids never interviewed, the principle was only informed of my sons involvement.
Why you ask, because both the other kids parents are quite wealthy, have a prominant name in the town, and one of the kids mothers works at the school. The school was never informed about them, only my son. And funily enough, these two boys have been in lots of other trouble as well. My sons first and last offence.

Well I made sure I told the principle the names of the kids, and suggested that she should probably talk to those kids and there parents. It was then that the principle told us that the cleaner had not actually identified my son by name, only that it was the kid who broke the windows. Had the police told the principle all the facts, it might not have gone this far.

Now my son is to frightened to go out, if he sees a cop he instantly gets paranoid, thinking they are going to get him. He wont go far from home and always is mindful of having an alibi in case "they come back for him". The poor kid is petrified.

In the end his only crime was one broken window on one occasion. First and last offense, other than a warning for not wearing his helmet, he has never had any trouble with the police.

His crime was nothing in the big picture, I know that. But how many kids, how many people have copped a raw deal because of similar situations to this.

All because of one bad cop.

This post has been edited by Dundee: May 26 2008, 07:04 AM

Dundee
i can totally sypathise with your situation.like me you try hard to bring your kids up with respect,love and fair discipline.we cannot watch our kids 24 hours and invariably may get into trouble when hanging out with the wrong crowd.we all have moments of madness.but you just have to be there for them when they do make mistakes.You know your kids,the others only know what they've heard and make assumptions that these kids do it all the time.

my eldest son(10 years) was seen an the local store with another kid,this other kid left the store without paying.My wife's friend was in the store and popped round to see us and told me what happened.(my boy didn't buy or take anything.)he other lad stole some sweets and a flapjack and he gave the flapjack to my son.they were lucky they didn't get caught. explained to my son that if you hang out with trouble makers you will get in as much trouble as them,and you will known by association with them.i told him to choose very carefully who he hangs out with as other kids have different idea's about what fun is.i made him give the flap jack back in front of me and barred him from going to the shops with that kid.i also explained what would have happened if he had been caught.It sank in. i feel your son was unfortunate and stones in ponds cuase ripples but soon die down.i feel he would have learned a great deal and it could turn out to be his saving grace

Dundee your doing a great job but don't let ignorant people get you down.

That's really scary, Dundee. I really sympathize. I've seen that sort of thing in 'school politics' too. When I was in high school, there was this brilliant, brilliant English teacher. She was tough as nails, but she was a good teacher. Well, this kid was failing her class, bombed the final. The principal told her to give him a make-up test. She asked "Shall I give a make-up to ALL the kids who failed?" No. Only this one. She scheduled a make-up. Kid didn't even show up. So she marked his grade as failing. Principal came back, all in a huff, wanting to know why the kid was failing. She explained. She was told to change his grade. She refused. Said he didn't deserve it. The principal then said HE would change the grade. She said "You can change it, but I won't sign it. The grade stays as it is." The school refused to pick up her contract for the following year, and word had it that they sent messages to other districts in the area not to hire her. The kid had an uncle on the school board. When you're rich, you don't have to be good, smart or follow the rules.

Just ask her:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k66epna2Sss

Yes, it is not what you know it is who you know thats for sure. That really must be frustrating for that teacher. It appears that education system is just as biased as ours here in Australia.
We had a visit from the boys in blue last night, we have been hit with a bill for the windows for almost $200, i asked if this is being split across the three kids. The police said no, because the other two boys were not charged at the time and denied breaking anything they were never charged or taken to task, nor were there parents told, the only way to do that would be to backtrack proceedings, charge them, and because the parents were never even informed, because my son owned up and said he broke a window, and the other kids denied it, nothing ever happened to them. So to get them to pay there share and for there parents to find out, the police would need to charge them retrospectivly and that would have to include my son as well. As he was let off with a warning and not charged, we said well just cut our losses and pay for all the windows, even though he only broke one. So now, even though my son took the smallest role of the three kids, the school, and the parents and teachers all think he did it on his own, the other two priveledged kids... well they get to keep there halo for a while longer.
I really hate this town and the yuppies that are in it now. This place used to be so friendly, with such nice people. Now it is full of dick head Melbourne people that bring there suburban attitudes and values with them. They come with a bale of hay, an oilskin coat and a bit of straw in there mouth and pretend to be country people. They are a joke, unfortunatly there are so many now, there "joke" seems to be on us that were born here.
We have talked about moving up into the Northern territory, probably cant now though with the kids in high school and one as an apprentice. I would love to sell up and get away from here though. Leave this place to the yuppies.

Not only sounds like they are bad cops, but lazy cops. I'm not sure how it works in Australia, but in the US you could probably bring the other two kids and families to civil court. This would involve "bad cop" and all cops involved to where they would never get a promotion again. Higher ups don't care what their underlings do, as long as attention isn't brought to the whole. Bring attention, no matter how minor, and you can kiss your career good bye.

Yeas I think there is a course of action if we wanted to take it, but as I said, my son would end up worse off in the long erun so we will just leave it and move on. A lesson learned for us all.

I had a cousin many years ago who served five years in prison for being with the wrong crowd. He was walking home when two guys he vaguely knew from high school offered him a ride.

During the ride they stopped at a small general store and one of the guys went in. He came out of the store at a run and the driver pulled out very quickly.

A police chase ensued with my cousin pretty freaked out as a passenger in the back seat. They pushed the car so hard that the engine blew and all three were arrested.

The car was stolen and the guy who went in the store had robbed it. He had a gun in his coat pocket and my cousin was unaware of anything being wrong until the police chase. However he was convicted of two felonies and served five years, for getting into the wrong car. Felonies on his record so he lost some rights and it did affect his employment opertunities.

I know my cousin and he wasn't perfect but he would never have been involved with anything like that. Still, he paid the price.

That would have been horrible for the poor bloke. It pretty crappy that the legal system didn't get to the truth. Makes you wonder how many people have been to jail that are innocent, or worse still how many have been executed.

I so often comes down to police that just do not wish to check things out thoroughly because they have a heavy work load or decide hastily someone is guilty and skip over...shortcut an investigation.

Sorry for your family's troubles, Dundee...you could make a formal request for an investigation into the officer's conduct. Considering that your son is a minor, the officer violated his civil rights by identifying him to your son's girlfriend's family. Further, the officer's conduct can be construed as unethical given that he is friends with the girlfriends' family and did not remove himself from your son's case.

This post has been edited by iwant2believe2: May 28 2008, 07:38 PM

sounds like the typical cop in my hood me and my friends got strip searched in the middle of the street last night just for being a group of black kids out late. No offense to anyone but where i've grown up the mentality is fuck the police and all my experiences with the police have just reinforced that mindset.

I know this is gonna tick you off dundee but if your kid participated in the criminal activity with the other kids and he was equally as guilty it was real lame of him to snitch on the other kids. There is an unwritten law of the street and it is as follows: no snitching.

Hey, Mandela! Welcome back!

Stripsearched? In the street? Jeez, Mandela, I'm really sorry. That's just wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! It's no wonder people in your neighborhood don't like the police. I wouldn't either. If that were my neighborhood, I don't think I'd do those guys any favors either.

As for no snitching, a cop friend once told me: "You'd be surprised how much 'detective work' comes down to a snitch."

Well we come from different backgrounds don't we Mande, as old fashioned as it may seem to you, I beleive in honesty and Karma. I don't beleive you can move on properly from a mistake without taking responsibiity for your actions. You are either honest....or your not. You can't be selective in my opinion. Now I suspect you are going to say something about thats fine in fairy land but that in your world, the real world it does not work" But the thing is, life often sucks, the only thing you have full control over is your integrity. No matter how bad people are to you, right is still right and wrong is still wrong.

The cop new with absolute certainty that all the kids were there. The only person who stepped forward and addmitted guilt was my son. And he did not snitch initially until I told him to be honest and tell the truth. You say he should not have snitched because of an unwritten law. Well how about this then. It turns out that the other kids ware involved in a hell of a lot of other stuff that the cop tried to pin on him. Fortunatly he was on holidays down the beach at the time of almost all of it, so his admission of guilt, and his absense from the area helped whatever lenience he was shown by "the good cop".
If he had played tough guy and tried to lie to the police, how do you think things would have gone then, they are not stupid. What example for the future does it set if I encouraged anything but honesty. It is a slipery slope to stand on playing games like that.
And in anycase, where were his so called friends when they tried to accuse him of all the other stuff that they did?
I didn't see them standing up and helping him out.


Yes, I know there is a course of action that can be taken, but we are all just happy to move on. It is an lot of trouble to go to, and I suspect it would not be plain sailing, during or after. He has learned many lessons from it all and I don't think he will be breaking the law again any time soon. It is not a nice feeling having the police car parked in front of your house and my kids being questioned. We are happy to let it pass I think.

This post has been edited by Dundee: Jun 9 2008, 02:47 AM

Strip searched? Exactly how were you stripped searched? You live in Louisville right? Provide me with the officers name, street location, date and time and, if in fact you were stripped searched, he will be out of a job.

Money talks, BS walks... sound familiar? Its a very true statement

Indeed, it is...

Believing in Karma sounds a bit New-Agey to me.