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  1. #1
    Cowbell is offline Astronomical Unit
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    Default Intelligent Falling Theory

    Wasn't sure if this belonged in Science or Religion, but I'm sure a Mod will find a proper place for it somewhere.

    Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

    August 17, 2005 | Issue 41•33

    KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.



    Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.

    "Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

    Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."

    Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

    According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

    The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

    "We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

    Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

    "Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

    Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

    "Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."

    "Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

    Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

    "Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512

  2. #2
    soulstar is offline Earth Radius
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    I just have one thing to say: that hairy guy needs to shave

  3. #3
    iwant2believe2's Avatar
    iwant2believe2 is offline Kiloparsec Forum Voyager
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    Oral Roberts University...says it all for me...its ignorance such as this that gives 'intelligent design' a bad name...intelligent design is just as plausible and just agreeable to the laws of nature as any other scientifically espoused theory precisely because it does not go against the laws of nature....but this...this is just more Eve from Adam's rib...why does Man find it so necessary to put his face on everything? There is nothing contrary in saying that gravity is GOD but to do so, one must learn to shed the human personification of God.
    Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere. -Carl Sagan


  4. #4
    soulstar is offline Earth Radius
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    Yea and I guess God is pushing down on the rovers on Mars also. this is ridiculous, but please don't bash on an athiest

  5. #5
    iwant2believe2's Avatar
    iwant2believe2 is offline Kiloparsec Forum Voyager
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    are you talking to me Soulstar?

    What is it about intelligent design that you find contrary to science and why?
    Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere. -Carl Sagan


  6. #6
    soulstar is offline Earth Radius
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    Huh? no i'm not talking to you, i'm talking about the guy's intelligent falling thingymajig

  7. #7
    iwant2believe2's Avatar
    iwant2believe2 is offline Kiloparsec Forum Voyager
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    ah, ok...I thought so but wasnt sure...
    Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere. -Carl Sagan


  8. #8
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    ThePredator is offline Astronomical Unit
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    Ahahaha, *wipes tear out of his eye*

    So he diceded to go ahead an neglect our proof of the four basic forces and instead put forth a theory that a 3 year old could be expected to make? First of all if 'god' was pushing (does that not sound downright ignorent to anybody else?) on everything than why the acceleration to terminal velocity curve? Would the acceleration not be instant, or more akin to a curve of foward pushing motion? Not only that but why would 'god' push all matter together? Does his undersized brain not relise that gravity is exerted equally upon all matter? This is what happens when people donate money before thinking. This really can be used to show that religion is just grasping at straws here.

  9. #9
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    silverglance is offline Astronomical Unit
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    LydaRose just said, "Well, they're starting to dismantle science...".

    What next? Will the theory of Heavenly Moisture Sucking be offered as a replacement for the outmoded explanation of water evaporation?

  10. #10
    soulstar is offline Earth Radius
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    HAHAHAHA that is hilarious silverglance!!!!


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